When NPR, FOX, and VICE merge in to one network, catering to all the dumb dumbs born to baby-boomers, this is the kind of music coverage you can expect. Originally aired on Princeton radio, trannies, psychics, prostitutes, Verizon employees, and more weigh in on the most recent full-length released by Normal Love.
Psychic Tanya on NL’s music.
by HONDA 98.6 of Normal Love
As I trolled around my former residence of almost 5 years in South Brooklyn for the trashiest psychic I could find, I went from storefront to storefront. seeking out any neon sign that mentioned the words “psychic,” ‘tarot card,” or “palm reading.”
You’d be surprised at how hard it is to get a professional mystic to agree to listen to some music on an iPod for a price, and give you their cosmic analysis of it. I must have been rejected by 3 or 4 of the most rundown looking clairvoyant businesses in the remote neighborhoods of Bensonhurst and Bath Beach, Brooklyn, before finally coming across Psychic Tanya on 86th street. She was miraculously down to do it, and said the reason the others rejected me was because “no real gypsy would ever let you take her picture” (taking a photo of the listener was a necessary component of the project).
Here is her take on some of my solo music and my band, Normal Love.
PT It sounds scary
H98.6 It is scary ?
PT Yeah…No no I don’t do that. No no, I don’t like evil stuff. I fight evil…Ya know what this is? Drug music.
H98.6 Drug music?
PT You understand what I’m talking about?
PT I’m a mother, I wouldn’t agree on that…I like this part. There’s some parts I like, some parts I don’t. There was one part I didn’t like that was scary – the first one you put on, but I can’t lie. It’s nice, but it’s not for me. I feel like you can get hypnotized by it.
H98.6 That would maybe be a compliment.
PT No. We invoke Jesus’ name. You know what it sounds like? You know when a band’s getting ready to start? They have to get warmed up or something. Yeah like a tune up they’re getting warmed up like a band. That’s what it sound like.
PT You’re here to hear me listen to this. That’s not a very good thing what you’re doing, I’m telling you. Lemme tell you why. I’m not a DJ. I don’t do songs.
H98.6 That’s the whole point. BECAUSE you’re not.
PT OK It’s interesting. You wanna see what other people have to say about it.
H98.6 Exactly, exactly. I don’t care about DJ’s. There’s too many people making music, talking about music.
PT And I wouldn’t want my son to hear it either, because I have one that has a drug habit and in rehab. And this right now? It’s offensive to me, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s nice, I like it, but I wouldn’t want my kids to hear it. You understand? I got four suns. The youngest one is 18.
PT This is good for theater. Its nice for restaurants. Its nice I’m not gonna lie.
H98.6 It could be anything. There’s no wrong answer. You could hate it. You could love it.
PT How do I know? This is not the music I [usually] hear. I hear Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Barry White. It sounds like it’s in a movie, and the movie’s going through a jungle, You understand what I mean, like through a jungle, like seeing cave people. That’s what it sounds like.
H98.6 Cool. OK. And then one more passage.
PT I’m sorry I’m not giving you the right advice but that’s what I think it sounds like…
[Listens more]… Belly dancers will maybe dance to it, I don’t know. We bring belly dancers to weddings.
H98.6 Where are you going to weddings?
PT Gypsy weddings. When my sons get married or my friends get married or relatives.
H98.6 Yeah, I’m not married. I’m probably not gonna get married for a while.
PT My husband can help you with this. Want me acks him?
H98.6 No, I’m not looking to get married. I wanna be single for a while.
PT No haha not for marriage, my husband can help you with the songs! He’s good at these type of things. …
H98.6 OH! Hahaha. No I want your opinion…You know, less and less marriage happens these days. 40% of people are born out of wedlock.
PT What’s that?
H98.6 Only 40% of people are born to people who aren’t married.
PT A woman don’t even need a husband no more, they just go up to the sperm bank, come home, and they’re pregnant…[Trying to give a reading] So you do have a temper, you do get along with people, and you also hold a lot of feelings inside. Sometimes you give more to other people than what you give to yourself.
H98.6 That’s maybe true?
PT Not maybe true, it is the truth. But be careful in the long run, not to spend too much time with other people because you might hurt the ones you love.
PT Like your mother, your father, your husband, your wife, your children, You pay attention to other people, help them, but don’t just concentrate on other people and leave them behind. ‘Cause you give so much dedication to other people you forget about the one’s you love.
PT Could I continue your reading?
H98.6 I’d rather my fortune be a surprise.
PT You’re one of those types, you’re scared?
HONDA 98.6 is a poser from 2085. He plays in the band, Normal Love, and lives in Brooklyn, NY.